Overheard At Work

Had a problem with a rotary airlock on a piece of equipment.

Looked up their phone number, called the rep up – “I’ve got a problem with this piece of junk. What you shipped us is not what we bought! I’m sick of this crap coming from your company!”

On the other end – “Well, which piece of equipment are you talking about?”

“The rotary airlock!”

On the other end – “We don’t sell rotary airlocks!”

Checked my number – realized I’d called the wrong guy. – “Do you know who I am??“

He said “No-”

I said “Good!” and I hung up.

<Snort!>

Real conversation, sometime in the 80’s.

-Popgun

Today is my Sister’s Birthday

Today I celebrate the lives of my sister and my mother, in this small way.

Today (October 29) is my sister’s birthday. Four years my senior, she would have been 60 today, if she had survived. I miss her still, although when she was here, in her later years I didn’t spend a lot of time with her. Sometimes you don’t know what you have, until it is suddenly gone. She died at age 44, of liver failure – she was an alcoholic. Her death was one of the most stressful things that has ever happened to me. I was the second person on the scene at her death – her body was still warm. I didn’t get a chance to say goodbye.

Then, there is my mother, who passed away on October 30, 2000. I was there at her passing. A heavy smoker, she died of a combination of COPD and dementia; when she died, and for some months before that, she did not know who I was. Her passing, really, was a blessing. COPD causes shortness of breath – a victim usually has a low-level panicked feeling all the time, perhaps a ‘drowning’ feeling. My mother was suffering from this for several years before I found out there was a medical reason for it. During that period, I thought she was going nuts. In reality she was having panic attacks and paranoid attacks that frequently caused her to behave irrationally.   

At this point, I am the last survivor of my birth family. My Dad passed away before my sister did.

Death represents the end of pain. Sometimes, for everybody involved.

If you’re a Christian, that is. Neither my sister nor my mother were what I would call ‘practicing’ Christians – but they were both acquainted with the Bible, and the precepts of Christianity. I do hope they were saved. If so, I expect that I will get to see them again.

A person generally is exposed to more death as he ages. It seems that probably, on average, half of everybody you know will die before you do. As my neighbor says, “Don’t worry about life. You’re not getting out of it alive!”.

A young person doesn’t really perceive that death will happen to him – it is off in some distant future. On the other hand, an older person knows that his time will come. This causes different reactions in different people.

Some people, if you were to throw them out of an airplane at 30,000 feet without a parachute, would scream all the way down. Others would enjoy the view for as long as possible.

I plan to enjoy the view.

Cheers!

-Popgun

Anachronisms and Obsolete Technologies

What turns of phrase do we use that were inspired by obsolete technology, and what technologies have you seen in your lifetime that are no longer used?

This post was inspired by a post on my son J’s blog. He told about explaining to a little girl what a cassette was, because she had never seen one.

Here are a few of mine, that come to mind.

Technologies that I have personally used that then became generally obsolete:

• 45 RPM and 33 RPM records and albums (audio)
• Reel to Reel Tape Recorders (audio)
• 8-track tape cartridges (audio)
• cassette tapes (audio)
• the Walkman type music player (audio)
• VHS and Betamax video recorders (video)
• tape drive for personal computers (data)
• floppy discs (8″, 5 1/4″, 3 1/2″) and drives (data)
• the slide rule (computation – replaced by pocket calculator)
• the pocket calculator (computation – replaced by PDA’s)
• PDA’s – Personal Digital Assistants – replaced by Smart Phones and particularly the iPhone in my case.
• CRT based computer video
• Black and white TV
• telephones with dials instead of buttons (voice).
• Party lines for telephones in rural areas (there were six families on one line when I was a kid).
• RS-232 data interface on personal computers (data)
• Centronics printer data interface on personal computers (data)
• Dot Matrix printers (still in use for specialized uses like check printing)
• Floor mounted dimmer switches for auto headlights
• Floor mounted starter switches for autos (obsolete about the time I learned to drive)
• Computer networking interface Arcnet, replaced by Ethernet.
• Typewriters (still in use for specific dedicated functions)
• Hand-held Transistor Radios (technically not obsolete, but nobody uses them to listen to music anymore.)

Technologies now in use that (I think) will soon be obsolete:

• Telephones with wires
• Non-cellular home telephones
• CRT based television
• Projection type big screen TV
• CDs. Will be replaced with iPod or iPhone type devices.
• DVDs. Within around ten years, all media will be delivered via download.
• Ink jet printers (will be replaced by laser printers as laser photo printing improves – it’s being kept alive now only because they make so much on ink refills)
• Wired computer peripherals.
• Microsoft Windows (OK, I threw that in there because Mac OS X is so much better – snort).

Technologies that didn’t exist when I was a kid, and my approximate age when I encountered them (not necessarily when they were invented):

• Home Air Conditioning – I was about 14 when we got it. Not sure when it became commercially available in window units.
• Color TV – (teens)
• Transistor Radios – (teens)
• Personal Computers (20’s) and all related hardware.
• Software for personal comptuers – ANY software. Word processors, spreadsheets, anything.
• Pocket Calculators (20’s)
• Cell Phones! (40’s)
• Digital Video Recorders (DVR’s) (50’s)
• the Internet – (40’s) (yes, I did programming and other work on computers for nearly 20 years before the internet came into common use!)
• The graphics user interface – Windows (late 30’s) I’ve used EVERY version of Windows except server versions – and happily abandoned it for Mac OS X two years ago.
• ATV’s – (early 50’s) – they had been around for quite a while before I got one. I was in my 20’s when the three-wheelers were invented.
• AR-15 class weapons and polymer pistols (50’s)

This list is probably not comprehensive. Anybody got any more to add?

-Popgun

The X Games

I was watching the X Games on TV, Sunday afternoon. I was really interested in the car racing, which was on a very tight, half-dirt and half-pavement course with a 70 foot jump in the dirt portion.

In between car races, they did skate boarding stuff. I’m not too interested in that, but it did bring back some memories.

When I was around 10 years old, I asked my Dad for a skateboard. Never mind that where we lived, the nearest pavement was 1/4 mile from the house, and even that was rough blacktop. My Dad, bless his heart, had no idea what a skateboard was, so I explained it to him. For the following to make sense, I should probably mention that my Dad was a welder.

In a couple of days, I had a skateboard. This ’skateboard’ consisted of a rectangle of 1/4″ thick steel plate, with a couple of clamp-on steel-wheeled skates, the sort that you cranked a key to lock them to your shoes, welded to the bottom of it. The thing probably weighed 25 pounds, and if you fell off and got ran over by it, it would probably put you in the hospital. It had square corners, for crying out loud.

Bless my Dad, he tried.

Another time, he gave me a basketball, and welded a hoop made of steel sucker rod he heated and rolled, onto the end of my swing set. I should mention that my swing set was made out of 2″ pipe – sometimes he borrowed it to use as an A-frame to pull engines.

In any case, since we had no pavement, I learned how to dribble on rough ground. When I got to school and had to dribble on a flat surface, I couldn’t do it because I wasn’t used to the ball predictably going straight up and down. I was in high school before I learned to use a back-board.

Once, I made a swing by tying a rope to a limb high up in a pine tree. A bit later on, I ran the rope through the hole in the center of disc off of a plowing disc and tied a knot underneath, to make a seat. If I’d ever swung into the tree trunk while sitting on that, it would probably have cut my legs off at the knees. It was made of steel, weighed probably 20 pounds, and the edges were serrated.

I had a lot of fun, out in the boonies when I was a kid.

So, what stories do you have where your parents cluelessly tried to give you what you wanted?

-Popgun

Hot in East Texas again

The forecast as of this morning:

We went to the Great Texas Balloon Race in Longview last night. When we arrived, there was a Warthog A-10 Thunderbolt flying around and going through it’s paces; this is really fascinating to watch, and looks like it would be lots of fun for the pilot. With the 30mm Gatling gun in the nose, I’d hate to be the target.

The balloonists did a balloon glow, where the balloons are inflated after dark, and the burners are ignited either randomly or in patterns. It’s really pretty – it reminds me most, oddly enough, of a book I had as a very young child which showed colored easter eggs. The colors were so vivid in that book that the picture has stuck with me all these years. The balloon glow is like that, except that it’s dynamic. It’s also interesting because you can go out in amongst the balloons, watch them set up, and see how it works. All the balloonists are friendly, as long as you don’t get in their way. Texas Grandma was a crew member on hot air balloon teams almost every year since the beginning of the event, but not this year.

It was also pretty hot, but last night wasn’t as hot as I have seen it in years past at the races. There was just enough of a breeze to make it comfortable.

It was a good time.

-Popgun

A Beautiful Day – So Far

Riding in to work this morning was about as perfect as I’ve ever seen. Beautiful weather, temperature perfect, very light traffic – a great way to start off the day!

On a related note, I was reading yesterday that somebody has determined that coffee (well, caffeine) can help prevent and / or cure Alzheimer’s. Especially if you drink three or more cups a day.

On the other hand, a month or so ago, I was reading that three or more cups of coffee a day can cause hallucinations.

And a personal observation: I drink a lot of coffee every morning, I’m in my mid-50’s, and I’ve never had kidney stones. I suspect that there is a correlation.

Looks like I’m not going to have to worry about Alzheimer’s or kidney stones. The hallucinations are y’all’s problem.

Now, if I could only sleep all night….

-Popgun

Motorcycling Has it’s Risks

Yesterday, Friday, I was riding my Suzuki DR650SE through some residential streets on the way to the mechanic’s shop; they had my old van.

Anyhow, I was going down a perfectly straight stretch of road at the posted 30 MPH speed limit, oddly enough. Traffic was light, just a couple of approaching vehicles in the other lane. One of them was an old beat-up pickup truck with an old man in it, (older than me!).

This sucker turned left in front of me, without leaving nearly enough room. The SOB (sweet old boy) had the temerity to wave at me, as if to say “oops! – my bad!”.

I wasn’t precisely expecting his maneuver, but I was paying attention. I instantly hit the brakes and downshifted; the back wheel locked up for a fraction of a second, and danced to the right a little. Then the rear end of the truck passed in front of me so I had somewhere to go; I got off the brakes, cussed a little bit and went on. I was seriously annoyed that I had locked up the back tire – the tires are new, and I hate wasting rubber.

A motorcyclist is helped somewhat on reaction time by the fact that most of the time, your hands and feet are already on the controls. I can put my brakes on quicker on my bike than I can in my car.

What kept this incident from being a visit to the emergency room was the fact that I was paying attention to my surroundings. Wool-gathering while riding will get you killed – and I wasn’t wool-gathering. Also in my favor – I knew what to do without the need to think about it. I’m an experienced rider, and I’m comfortable with my bike – I knew how it would react to an emergency stop situation, because I had practiced emergency stops with it shortly after I got it. (This is a good idea for any motorcyclist – practice emergency stops – carefully).

Had I been half a second slower to react, I’d have hit him. If he had commenced his turn a fraction of a second later, I’d have hit him. If I’d been in a car, I probably would have hit him. Also note the slow speeds. If this identical event had happened with me traveling at, say, 60 mph, I would have surely gotten to see the inside of an ambulance. But I was only going 30 mph, to begin with.

Here’s the deal. A motorcyclist will face this sort of incident, probably several times a year or more, especially if you ride in traffic a lot (which I don’t). It pays to be alert.

ADDENDUM:

Oddly enough, today at lunch I happened to learn about another motorcycle accident, which happened about a week ago.

The time was around 10:30 PM, on an unlighted country highway, at a ‘y’ intersection. A motorcycle rider, aged 27, was proceeding down the straight leg of the ‘y’ at high speed, reputedly over 90 mph. Another vehicle was sitting at the branch of the ‘y’, at a stop sign. He pulled out, and the motorcycle hit him broadside. The motorcyclist died at the scene.

I don’t know whether the vehicle that pulled out got any citation or not. I hope not, though. First, it is extremely difficult to judge the speed and range of a motorcycle that is coming towards you at night; with only one headlight on the vehicle, you don’t get the visual cues you do for an oncoming car. Second, the driver had no reason to expect anything to be approaching at twice the posted speed limit. The driver probably thought he had plenty of time to get out into the other lane.

The rider violated quite a few common sense safety rules. Speeding. In the dark. “It’ll never happen to me” syndrome. Not anticipating potential problems. Shucks, an armadillo would have taken this guy out – at 90 mph, he was outrunning his headlights. By that I mean, if a brick wall got in front of him, he could not possibly have stopped before hitting it – he wouldn’t have seen it in time. I mean no disrespect for the dead, but this poor young man died from his mistakes.

Motorcycles are a lot of fun, efficient, there’s lots of good things about them and I love them. But the learning curve is where things like this happen.

My sympathies to the family.

-Popgun

Joseph

When I was around 13 or 14, we had a dog named Joseph. I don’t know what breed Joseph was, but he was short-haired, about knee high, with perky ears, reddish tan colored, and very smart. Joseph was my constant companion, except for the week when he got sprayed by a skunk.

Back in those days, we lived out in the boonies – I could shoot my .22 in any direction, and if I missed the house, I really didn’t have to worry about hitting anything or anybody. So Joseph was free to come and go, inside and outside, as long as he could get somebody to open the door. He slept indoors, usually on my bed. Except for the week when he got sprayed by a skunk.

We had noticed for about a week that he’d go down in the woods in the evenings, and we’d hear him barking down there several hundred yards from the house, and then he’d show up for bedtime. So after a week or so of this, one night we didn’t let him out.

My family and I were all sitting around the kitchen table that evening, shortly after dark, when we heard a thumping at the door. So of course, we got up to see what it was.

It turned out to be a possum. So we opened the door, and Joseph took off. He and the possum ran down into the woods, side by side as they disappeared into the darkness. And a few minutes later, we heard that barking start up again down in the woods.

Joseph, apparently, had found a friend to play with.

Life really is amazing, if you pay attention.

-Popgun

Pulp Wood and Snakes, #1

Once, when cutting pulp wood, Rick and I had cut down a lot of trees – we’d cut the trees down first, then go around cutting them into lengths to stack on the truck. So the ground looked like we were playing pixie sticks with trees – they were laying every which way, complete with all foliage.

I was moving through the mess, marking lengths on the trees with a machete, so we’d know where to make the cuts. I looked down at one point, and saw, framed by pieces of wood and leaves, the middle of a snake. Probably a cottonmouth moccasin, I didn’t see either end. So, I reached down with the machete and cut it in half.

Later, when we had finished cutting the wood and were loading the truck, I found the tail of the snake.

I never did find the end with the teeth, though.

-Popgun

An Unusual Day Cutting Pulp Wood

This is the true story of one day cutting pulpwood. Granted, it was an unusual day – but this all happened on one day.

We usually started early, because it was cooler. On this particular day, Rick’s cousin Gene was helping us out – he was doing the stacking up on the truck. I’d drag the cable out and wrap it around six or seven pieces of wood, Rick would operate the winch to pull it in, and Gene would stack it and unhook it.

We hadn’t been working very long when Gene broke his toe. See previous post.

Being concerned for Gene, we stopped work immediately, got him in the truck, and backed up so we could turn around. You have to realize that this was a 2 1/2 ton truck – it was the same size as the trucks you see delivering soft drinks to grocery stores – so it was pretty long, and unwieldy in tight areas. In our haste, we failed to notice a stob (a piece of wood sticking up out of the ground – in this case, a sapling that had been shorn of branches by the falling trees) – this stob happened to take out the rear brake line when we backed up.

Since the truck was not now safe (well, as safe), we stopped, unloaded Gene, and walked (hopped, carried) him back up to the house where his car was. He left, presumably to go to the doctor. Hmm. I wonder if that was the same foot he shot with a .22 a year or so before? But that’s another story.

Rick and I went to town in my ‘65 Mustang junker to buy another brake line for the truck. We were hurrying, because the forecast called for major thunderstorms that afternoon. Since we were working in the bottoms, which flood frequently, we knew we had to get the truck out of there before the storms hit. If we failed to do this, we might come back to find the thing buried in the mud; we joked about finding the boom sticking up out of the ground, later in the summer…

About this time, the skies were getting darker, you could hear thunder in the distance, and someone way upwind had a fire going, to boot. Smoke was drifting through the trees. It was actually a bit spooky.

So, back at the truck, I slid up under the back and removed the old line. There we were, laying on our backs under the rear axle of the truck, wrenching away at the brake line. Rick’s beagle Bandit was wanting to help… it’s thundering outside, rain imminent, and wood smoke drifting along the ground. I’m thinking, I’m directly below the lowest metal on the truck. I asked Rick, “What happens if lightning hits the boom?” – he said, “What if I hit you??”.

So we got the new line installed, and we got ready to bleed the brake lines. This is the process you go through to remove air in the lines; if you don’t do this, the brakes are mushy if they work at all. This takes two people – one slowly pumps the brakes in the cab – the other opens a valve at the brake housing end of things until fluid and not air comes out the port.

So Rick was in the cab, and I was laying on my back under the truck, with a beagle walking across my chest, trying to open the valve to bleed the brakes. The valve was stopped up, so I shouted at Rick to push harder – the sudden stream of brake fluid made me jerk my head back to keep from getting it in my eyes. Rick said he heard the ‘whang’ as my head hit the differential, all the way up in the cab.

We got the truck started out of the woods, just about the time it started to rain. This is called ’success’.

Although we didn’t make much money that day; at least we still had all our equipment.

-Popgun